Leave the great indoorsnotes on the journey

Of all the moments that make up the journey of parenthood, watching our 3-month old daughter become a person is by far the most fascinating.  It often looks like it is an exciting but traumatic experience for her, and watching it unfold has begun what I am sure will be a life-long struggle to find that elusive parenting balance between trying to make life easier for her vs. allowing her to experience and learn things for herself.

I remember the first time I left South Africa.  I was in my early twenties, and I got on a plane to Australia to study there for two years.  I had no idea what I was doing or how it would feel to be in another country.  I also had no idea what jet lag was all about.  The first night I went to bed at 4pm.  Big mistake.  I woke up at 2am, wide awake and hungrier than I’ve ever been in my entire life.  I got up to go hunting for food, and the KFC burger I found most likely saved my life that night.

I think of that experience often when I see Aralyn experiencing new things, because the look in her eyes reminds me of how I felt that night.  The realization that the world is so much bigger than you ever imagined can be as frightening as it is exhilarating.  And for Aralyn, every day is like a flight to a new country.  From the smallest discovery that she is able to move her toes, to the overwhelming experience of being in an airport with all its noises and people, “overstimulation” in babies is no made-up thing you say when the crying doesn’t stop.  It is very, very real.

A few nights ago Jess and I flew down to San Diego to spend Christmas with family.  It was the first time I flew with Aralyn, and I was a total ball of stress for days ahead of the flight.  And for good reason.  Let’s just say that things did not go well, and that I am strongly considering staying in San Diego until she is around 8 years old and able to fly without incident.  She cried inconsolably throughout the flight, and even though there were probably a few sympathetic parents somewhere, I couldn’t find any as I scanned the plane with a facial expression that hopefully conveyed how extremely sorry I was for the inconvenience we were causing them.

But it also got me thinking about the experience of becoming fully human.  I understand why Aralyn was crying.  She was in a completely foreign environment, with loud noises and bright lights, full of people she has never seen before.  Just like I felt when I woke up at 2am that first night in Australia.

But despite these traumatic experiences we eventually get older and learn how to deal with newness and the things that expand our world views.  I do think that anything we do that increases the size of our worlds has some essence of the effect I see it has on Aralyn.  She can’t talk yet, but her eyes scream her emotions: “I don’t know what this is, and it scares me to death, but please give me more of it.”

And so it is that, even at the tender age of 3 months, my daughter is already teaching me about life.  She is teaching me that we should all keep doing things that scare us.  Because those frightening experiences are what allow us to experience life fully and become, truly and happily, human.