Leave the great indoorsnotes on the journey

When I was growing up, I was in the South African version of the Boy Scouts, called the Voortrekkers.  A loose translation of that particular Afrikaans word is “Forward-pullers,” or “Those who pull things forward.”  Yes, it’s a silly name.  I also got out of it as soon as I was old enough to think for myself, but that’s a story for a different blog post.

I loved Voortrekkers, because it was all about being in the outdoors, learning how to tie knots, how to build a fire and pitch tents, survival skills, that kind of stuff.  Also, there were girls.  But there was one thing that made Voortrekkers very difficult.  Our weekly group meeting was on Fridays from 5:30-7pm.  And 7pm was MacGyver time.

Let met step back a second and tell you about TV in South Africa in the 1980s.  We didn’t get a lot of quality shows from America, or from anywhere for that matter, so we made do with reruns of The Jerry Springer Show, and old seasons of Perfect Strangers and Full House.  But Friday nights at 7pm was something completely different.  Friday night was TV gold in South Africa.  The night where the best action shows out of America were on: Airwolf, The A-Team, Riptide and yes, MacGyver.  MacGyver was a family institution at our house.  So every Friday evening at 7pm I would jump on my bike and ride the 6 and a half minutes home as fast as I possibly could so that I wouldn’t miss too much of an episode.

Anyway, I need to get to the point.  A recent parenting experience brought all my MacGyver memories flooding back.  Aralyn, our 3-month old, was in her 4th hour of inconsolable crying, and we’d tried absolutely everything to calm her down.  As a very last resort, I used a specific combination of math skillz (severe trigonometry to figure out a precise angle), a bottle, a car seat, and a boppy pillow to trick her into calming down and finally falling sleep.  I felt extremely proud of myself, and I immediately thought that my exposure to MacGyver at such an impressionable age was what saved me that night.  Which got me thinking about the many things MacGyver can teach us about parenting.  But before we go into that, a little reminder of the absolutely awesome MacGyver intro is in order:

1. All the tools you need are within reach

Nothing can make you feel as inadequate as a crying baby in your arms.  Sometimes there is just nothing wrong, except that your baby needs to cry for a while.  My advice?  Don’t give up trying different things to soothe her.  Like MavGyver, use the tools that are available to you — swings, pushing a stroller back and forth over a crack in the carpet, rocking the crib, swaddling her tightly, singing, talking, whispering, white noise, no noise, Miles Davis, Coldplay, the news on the radio, a pacifier, touching her nose, and the list goes on and on.  Keep going, keep trying.  The tools are there.  If you work at it long enough, something will work.

2. Never panic under pressure

I still remember our first night after bringing Aralyn home.  I was frantically holding her in one arm, while reading Happiest baby on the block and trying to learn swaddling techniques with my free hand.  I panicked.  And we panicked for many nights to come.  But slowly you start to realize that this episode will probably end like last night’s episode, so instead of panicking, stay calm, and use those tools.  Remember MacGyver’s composure.

3. You’re better than the bad guys

You really are more capable than you think.  I didn’t believe it about myself either, until that first time I managed to soothe Aralyn to sleep.  Then I started, slowly, to believe in myself.  I’m not there yet, but just like MacGyver and his faith in all that is good, I know now that I am able to beat the “bad guys” that make Aralyn cry, if I just keep at it.

4. Every day looks like it might end in disaster, but it all works out in the end

There were so many nights that we thought Aralyn would simply never sleep and we would be doomed to live in a state of wakefulness for all eternity. But somehow, I have no idea how, she fell asleep in the end, and we were able to get a few hours of rest.  Remember that, like every MacGyver episode, the hero always wins in the end.

5. Tomorrow will bring a new problem to solve

But it’s not over.  Tomorrow will bring new bad guys, new challenges, but also new tools.  So keep MacGyver’s optimism with you and know that the writers already wrote all the tools you will need into tomorrow’s episode.  You just have to stay calm, remember that you’re the hero, and beat those bad guys.