The fear of diaper changing
July 22nd, 2009
I’m not usually prone to blowing things out of proportion… well, ok, yes I am. But this is different. Of all my fears about becoming a dad, the fear of diaper-changing has been the most consistent of the proverbial fear-flies that just won’t be swatted away, no matter how many times I wave my arms around in a really intimidating way. But I’m not completely to blame for this fear. Some recent external factors converged to create the perfect baby poop-storm:
First, a blog post from Dad-Blogs.com (Stocking up on disposable diapers before your baby is born) informed me that most new babies use 8-10 diapers a day! That’s about 250 diapers per month! And I also hear that babies don’t change themselves. So this could be a problem.
Then, my parents bought us a wonderful gift from our registry: the Diaper Genie II Elite System. It’s a fantastic piece of equipment that places used diapers in an air locked container, to immediately be incinerated and blasted into outer space. At least, that’s what I hope it does.
You have to wonder about that brand name too. It raises so many questions. For example, what was the problem with the USS Diaper Genie I, and how many sad souls suffered the consequences of whatever its defect was (I can only assume it has something to do with leakage) before it was fixed? And what makes this the Elite version? Now that I think about it, the fact that this “system” exists actually brings me no comfort at all — in fact, it just helps to shine a bright light on what must surely be a very toxic situation.
And last but not least, I recently acquired a book called The Know-How Book for Dads: Practical Pieces of Wisdom to Keep You Sane. This is, by far, the best dad-book I have in my collection, with advice on everything from how to hold a baby and how to treat minor injuries, to juggling and how to make balloon animals. It is pure gold. And I have to give a shout-out to cousin Matt who told me about the book (since he is now the proud father of twins, I consider him an expert so I do everything he tells me to do).
Anyway, the section on Changing a diaper starts as follows:
In the first weeks of your baby’s life, you will change hundreds of diapers. Soon you’ll be able to swap a dry one for a wet one with your eyes closed. But before you master the art of the diaper change, you’re first going to have to learn to steady a squirming baby and avoid getting peed on while making sure the diaper fits comfortably but snugly.
And that’s just the intro to the very detailed 9-step process that follows, which just makes my head spin. I now understand that knowing look I see in other dads’ eyes when I tell them that this is our first child. Because they know about diapers. I can only hope that the 2 things people keep telling me are true:
- You learn very quickly
- It’s different when it’s your own baby’s diaper that you’re changing
Anyway, for those of you keeping score, Jess is doing great. We have 10 weeks to go to her due date, and apart from the expected discomfort of being in the third trimester, she’s been having a fantastic pregnancy. We’ll also be attending a birthing class in a couple of weeks, and I am hoping that practicing diaper-changing on baby dolls will at least give me the confidence to try it out on the real thing when the time comes (not that I have much of a choice).
But I am definitely getting dish washing gloves, plus swimming goggles and a snorkel, to soften the blow.
Shawn Beaty July 23rd, 2009 at 9:40 am
You baby! Your fear of poop makes me laugh! The best part is at some point the kid will probably have poop squish out of the diaper and it will inadvertently get on your arm holding him/her. Great blog!
Kristen July 23rd, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Snorkel. What a great idea! If you were having a boy I’d recommend a wetsuit too, but you should be ok. I just noticed when changing the changing pad cover the other day that there is pee all down the wall in one spot. And no, I haven’t had the time to clean it yet.
Matt July 23rd, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Yes, learning fast is true. Less than 1 week into diaper changing I have been peed, pooped and vomited on (all in the same change actually – sort of like a baby triple play).
Joe July 23rd, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Dude, I was scared of the poo too. I do have to tell you, the Genie–don’t get your hopes up. No matter how air tight something is it can’t suppress the nastiness coming from 20 diapers. My suggestion, save the plastic bags from the grocery store and trash the diapers in those immediately. Smell gone. Seriously, who thought it would be a good idea to keep a bucket full of poo in the house in the first place. Then again, I had my Genie some 9 years ago now.
Stay strong my friend.
Jason July 24th, 2009 at 5:20 am
I LOVE my diaper genies. We have 2. 1 upstairs and 1 down. Now that potty training has taken place we’ve downsized to just the 1 in the nursery. It helps, but like Joe said, doesn’t eliminate the odors. I’m super glad to have it out of my living room.(though, I think you become immune to the smell, so really only your guests suffer
)
Daddy Files July 24th, 2009 at 6:44 am
Not that you need more advice, but I’ll offer some anyways.
The Diaper Genie sucks. You have to continually buy special bags for it. Get one of the knock offs and you can save money by buying regular scented bags at the store. But no matter which system you get, it will still stink.
And don’t sweat the diapers. Changing dirty diapers will be the least of your worries. Just know that you will be peed and pooped on. Multiple times. Just remember to shield yourself with the new diaper while you change. And since you need to apply liberal amounts of diaper cream or butt paste after each change, you’ll be sticking your finger right in the danger zone on a daily basis anyways. It’s inevitable. And with newborns, you change them and then literally 10 seconds later they pee or poop and you do the whole process over again.
But soon you don’t even care. In fact, if you’re weird like me, you start charting their poop and trying to figure out the schedule. And then you’ll think nothing of checking whether it’s a dirty diaper by putting your nose right to your baby’s ass and taking a big whiff.
I know it sounds horrible but the whole thing is just awesome. You’ll be fine.
paul(mytwodaddies) July 24th, 2009 at 7:35 am
I like the goggles idea. I wanted to say if that picture above is of your wife, she is beautiful.
I never minded the poop…as long as it stayed in the diaper region…it’s when it shoots down his back that I never liked.
SurprisedMom July 24th, 2009 at 8:10 am
What can say the others haven’t? What can I say that will make your fear go away? Diaper changing almost becomes magical because it will make a crying baby stop.
I remember the first time I changed a boy baby. It was before I had children of my own. I was smug in the knowledge I could handle it. Sure. By the time we finished, he ended up peeing on the couch, floor, draperies and me. I think he was laughing at me. You don’t get this kind of excitement with girls. I ended up having two girls.
You might find you don’t need all your protective gear after all. It does become routine pretty quickly.
Good luck with everything! I’m glad your wife is feeling ok in her third trimester.
BellaDaddy July 24th, 2009 at 9:04 am
Trust in yourself, before you know it, you will proudly accept that you are a poop changing pro!
HeirApparent July 24th, 2009 at 2:31 pm
Good luck with the diaper changing – you do get used of the process but I’m still surprised what I find in there sometimes. We have one of the diaper pails that takes the generic bags, and it was definitely worth it for the first few months – but after your kids starts eating “people food” they will start making “people poo” and, at least in our experience, the plastic vault of the Diaper Genie is nowhere near strong enough to contain the smell. Ours now resides in the garage so only the lawnmower has to catch a whiff of that nightmare…
Rian July 24th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Thanks for all the “advice.” But let me just say that if you’re all trying to make me feel better, it’s not working. I do appreciate the effort, though
PJ Mullen July 25th, 2009 at 8:58 am
Just consider it an adventure. You never know what your going to find in there. It can get interesting. After the first week, you’ll be changing diapers blindfolded. Or, at least in the dark and wincing because you don’t want to turn the light back on so the baby doesn’t fully wake up and will go back down easier.
Desirae July 25th, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Great blog… Sounds like maybe Joe had the “original” DG? We have the DG II, as you know, and haven’t encountered the stinky problems that some others have. Maybe my son just has usually pleasant smelling poop. Actually, no.
And hey, PJ has something there! We did the same dim lights/maybe he’ll go back to sleep easier thing. Only downside: Not realizing your baby projectile pooped on the wall until morning. Dry poop is harder to clean. Unfortunately for you, this is not a gender-biased hazard as some are. (When Gabriel was newborn I wondered why baby poop was so explosive and uncontrollable – immature digestive system. I supposed I should’ve figure that out..)
Lastly, no one here is trying to make you feel better. We’re all vets sharing our war stories because we’re proud to have lived through it. Your turn. : )
Daddy Diaries July 25th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
The Diaper Genie is great. I’ve got 2 of the Elite II’s as well since you’ll be changing 100’s of diapers, and it’s much better to do it where you are vs having to carry the smell throughout the house. The special bags are a pain, but they work. My reco would be to air them out and lysol the heck out of them at least once every 2 weeks. Oh, and empty them once a week (or once a day if your baby ends up being a poop monster).
That make you feel any better?
Eddie and Dayna July 27th, 2009 at 11:58 pm
I just read your blog and it brings up memories of the weekend -
watching funniest home videos on tv and watching fathers change
their childs diaper with face masks and dry reaching…
Something to look forward to!
Eddie (and Dayna)
Deborah July 30th, 2009 at 12:31 am
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Deborah
http://maternitymotherhood.net
Super Dad August 11th, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Forget what everyone else is saying. It *is* as bad as you think it is, and no, it doesn’t matter that it’s your own kid. I should know: I have four kids and have changed two or three dozen diapers. Here’s my advice: Pay off your wife (by doing extra chores, treating your wife to niceties, etc.). At the beginning don’t hesitate to even overcompensate in these payments. Over time the costs will go down until a few months later it just part of _her_ job.
BTW, like others said, those diaper containers help but aren’t air-tight. I recommend getting (or actually having your wife get) those diapers out of the house ASAP.
Surfer Jay August 13th, 2009 at 12:59 am
I couldnt wait to get me one of those Genies….and then I smelled it, and used it, and I tossed it in the trash after a month. I got me a ‘Diaper Champ’, and I liked it mucho better. But, you still need to change the bags often, because they ALL smell. But, to cut the stench, I found the best thing to do was to also put each dipe in those small diaper bags made for carrying in the diaper bag, they’re really cheap and a lot come in each box. But als, the stench still permeates….