Comments on: Being nice to babies

By: Rian

Rian — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 04:40:27 +0000

Thanks for all the excellent advice and diverse experiences!

@PJ I’m already wondering how soon after birth I can start the U2 & Coldplay education for my daughter…

@WeaselMomma Yes everyone keeps telling me that it comes naturally when it’s your own. “It’s different when it’s your own baby’s poop.” I hope so

@Annie Thanks for sharing, I know I might be overthinking this but the whole learning process fascinates me, and your experience shows the real stories behind the theory.

And @ everyone — thank you thank you thank you. All the advice and support makes this an even more special experience than it already is!

By: HeirApparent

HeirApparent — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 01:03:19 +0000

I think what you’ll find is that you don’t need to consciously think about being nice to your baby – you just will be. There will be frustrating moments, and you may need to put her down and walk away for a moment or two, but in my experience you just know how to act. And if I could handle this, I’m sure you’ll do fine…

By: Annie

Annie — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 19:23:44 +0000

I think your blogs are funny. I can only imagine the look on Jess’s face when you failed to preface your question.

And while you really don’t need anymore expert amateur opinions, I will offer one anyway! We had two daughters, and then adopted our third child, a boy, from Hong Kong. We missed the first 13 months of his life. I won’t go into the sad details, but YES, those first years are absolutely critical in terms of their development. But I have no doubts that you and Jess will do just fine.

By: WeaselMomma

WeaselMomma — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 16:55:11 +0000

#1 ~ You are completely over thinking things. #2 ~ Yes it totally matters how you treat babies. However, the cognitive learning they eventually catch up with. The more important part (and you will rarely hear me say this. I am not a hippy love fest fruit-loop) is the emotional. Babies need love and security. They need to be held and played with and laughed with. The first 2 years are the most important in this area.
A child in a Chinese orphanage, who has their basic need met, but is not held, cuddled and loved and played with during the first years of life is unable to accept affection and build relationships later on. They never learned how.
#3. Don’t sweat it. It comes naturally. You will want to hold, cuddle and love your baby. You will get so much enjoyment from these activities that you will fear you are doing it too much. There is a natural love (mark my words and email after babies arrival) for your child that will eclipse and love you have ever known to be possible. It will blow your mind. You will want nothing more than to love your baby.

By: BellaDaddy

BellaDaddy — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 15:30:11 +0000

Ours is almost three, and yes, there were moments when you feel like screaming your head off…but you don’t…and ours is quite the little sweetheart! You are on the right track to happiness for you and yours!

By: PJ Mullen

PJ Mullen — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:27:34 +0000

So, that’s why my kid never sleeps. Maybe I should stop playing Iron Maiden during playtime

Just kidding, I agree with a lot of that. I think the reason our son is so happy and go lucky most of the time is because of how we do ours best to provide for him and keep the household stress free. It isn’t always easy, but its probably do it now or spend our retirement money on shrinks.

By: Jason

Jason — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:57:55 +0000

LOL @ howefitz.

Seriously though being nice is great and comes naturally easy. The hard part is when you have to be the not so nice disciplinarian…that’s when the questions of lasting damage really arise.

By: howefitz

howefitz — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 13:22:20 +0000

Yep, sounds like you’ll do just fine. Be as nice as you can, but come on, isn’t part of out job as parents to cause some amount of damage? ;P

By: Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 02:12:33 +0000

I have been obsessed with reading neuro-science type books on babies brain development and related things (yes this was far before bed rest). Here are some I recommend for the lay person (like you – not Jess!):

- “Baby Teacher, Nuturing Neural Networks from Birth to Age 5″ – I really liked this one and it’s not too long. I definitely skimmed some of the technical sections but the conclusions and how to relate it to your own life/baby were all very interesting. Oh and you’d love that it’s got quite a strong focus on the impact of music.
- “What’s Going on in There? : How the Brain and Mind Develop in the First Five Years of Life” I’m only about half way through or so, started then took a break because it’s a bit long. Was recommended by Aunt Elaine.
- “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child” (just starting this one)

They may be available from the Rampe Success Library as long as you promise to return them when I have a freak out moment and want to reread something.